I just came home from driving school and something happened that I wanted to tell you. One of the boys that used to bully me before I went to the United States came in and my heart just stopped pounding. Something made me feel really uncomfortable and insecure. I was afraid of him and I don’t even know why. I haven’t even talked to him for about almost two years now. I felt like something took me back in time. Because I am myself I wrote a little poem what helped me to deal with the situation.
I am insecure
what I should do
when I see you.
You make me feel
like I am not worth
to be alive
The weird thing is that this actually wasn’t the first time I felt like this. Every time I see him or the other guy that where involved in the hallway I feel the same way.
It makes me mad because I should be over it by now. I have wonderful classmates that make me feel comfortable, I have amazing friends who care about me and somehow I am still afraid of those stupid guys who think they are better than everyone. Words and actions can hurt more that actual violence.
Writing helped me when I was bullied and it still helps me now. That is why I always have a pencil and paper with me. I feel like with those two I can conquer every situation life gives me. The words that I put on paper are my superpower. As soon as I felt uncomfortable and weak when I saw this guy I subliminal gapped my pen and started writing. I think I just wanted to escape out of the real life.
Lots of love
Just a blank space