I actually don’t know how to start this post ( WOW what a legendary opening). The last week I have been dealing with really weird feelings. As soon as I get to school I am in a bad mood for so many reasons and all I want to do is to write. I just hate everything. I hate what I have to learn as I am pretty sure I will never use it in my entire life and I hate the whole situation with my friends. When I feel this way all I want to do is write. I want to grab my computer and go on WordPress because this is the world I love. But from the beginning.
On Sunday I skyped with my friend who is currently doing her exchange year in the US. It was so nice to talk to her because she is the only one who understands me as she is going through the same as I did. She told me that some of my other friends complained that I changed in the US and this makes me so mad. What did they think? I was gone for almost a whole year. I was in a foreign country far away from home all on my own. Of course I changed. The whole year opened my eyes to things they will never understand. I don’t know why but I don’t even want to talk to them right now. I felt that something was different but knowing what they said changed something inside me. I feel like they don’t even want to understand me and therefore I don’t really want to deal with them anymore. In school this situation makes me feel awful, it is like a shadow covers my soul (What a deep metaphor) but as soon as I am home it seems okay because I have this little space on WordPress where I can talk to people that are so lovely and seem to understand it.
Everyday I keep writing on this blog it shows me more how much I love to write. I actually don’t want to do anything else anymore. In school I even started to write and not paying attention to my teachers. I have been doing that for the whole school year but it keeps getting more and more. If I don’t write I just feel worst. If I don’t write I go insane. Sometimes I even want to hit my head against something just to stop the awful thought inside. The problem is that my classmates want to know what I write about and actually tried to steal it so I think I can’t do it anymore.
That is one more thing that annoys me in school. My classmates. Don’t get me wrong. I love them. I feel so much better around them than my old ones but they are so immature. Most of the are younger than me and they act like they are still in kindergarten. Especially the boys. All they do is pushing each other around, scream and throw stuff around. Grow up. You are not five anymore.
Writing is something I want to do all my life. I have been wanting to start a blog for so long and now that I actually came over my fear and did it I never want to do anything else. I find myself dreaming more and more about being able to travel the world and meeting with my reader and even other bloggers.
I could keep going on about this forever but this post is already so long. Life is weird and puberty is shit. But sadly I can’t do anything against it.
Just a blank space