Christmas Eve Breakdown

Christmas Eve Breakdown.jpg

Christmas Eve this year was…well…let’s say different. It all started the usual way. We went to church to watch the nativity play, then went back home, waited a little more and finally started eating the appetiser. After that, we opened our presents. I already knew what I was going to get so it was no surprise that I got my dad’s old phone.

After opening my present suddenly everything started to go downhill. Suddenly everything was crashing down on me. I was mad because I only got the stupid phone, which two people have used before me while my brother got a ticket for a soccer game and a concert. I was mad because I am the one who calms down my dad when he is feeling bad because I am the one who listens to my mom when she needs to get something off her chest because I am the one who tries to do everything right, who does the chores. I was mad at my parents for fighting earlier and for every other fight they had recently.

Because I didn’t want anyone to notice I went upstair to cry but of course my parents noticed. I just wanted to be alone but first, my mom came up and then my dad. They knew it was about them and they asked me what was wrong but I couldn’t tell them. I screamed and yelled at them to leave me alone, I cried. I threw a fit like a little kid and I felt stupid for doing it but I couldn’t control myself. When my aunt came upstairs a few minutes after my parents gave up I pretended to be asleep because I couldn’t deal with her. She left and my parents came up again. They wanted to talk to me but I started freaking out again. I was shaking, yelling and crying. I felt bad because I didn’t want to ruin everybody’s Christmas.

I don’t know what happened with me yesterday but I guess it had something to do with the pressure I have been putting on myself lately.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas though.

Lots of Love

Just A Blank Space

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16 thoughts on “Christmas Eve Breakdown

  1. Hey, it’s more than okay to feel like that, and totally understandable besides! You’ve had a rubbish time recently in terms of emotions overwhelming you, and you didn’t ruin anyone’s Christmas. Your feelings should be heard just as much as anyone else’s xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally get you! I am also that person in he family who’s there for everyone and has to support people in the family. I think what parents don’t realise is that just because you’re not small anymore doesn’t mean it’s okay if you see them arguing or it’s okay to rely on you for support. Like I don’t mean it in a bad way because I want to help my mum and dad when they feel down but at the same time I do have other things going on that I’ve stopped telling my parents about because to me they don’t seem like people who can help me anymore – if that makes sense? I really do hope you are a little bit better now and hey I got a phone for Christmas as well! This might be a bad idea but maybe you could have a chat with someone in your family and let them know about this because you need to let it out – after all you are only human! Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Are you okay now? If you do wanna talk just let me know. You’re going through rough time, which I absolutely understand cause I’ve been through the same feeling and emotions for quite a long time. All I would say is I know this is the last thing you want to do but tell your parents because trust me it makes life so much more easier. Or at least a person you’re you’re close to. And remember all this sadness makes you a hell lot stronger. I am always here for you! Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Awwww I always say that it’s tradition for my mom to yell on holidays but this year for Christmas it didn’t really happen which was nice.
    I think if your parents are willing to talk about it with you then take the opportunity! Just tell them how you feel. Anyways, I hope you are better now xx

    Liked by 1 person

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