Christmas Eve this year was…well…let’s say different. It all started the usual way. We went to church to watch the nativity play, then went back home, waited a little more and finally started eating the appetiser. After that, we opened our presents. I already knew what I was going to get so it was no surprise that I got my dad’s old phone.
After opening my present suddenly everything started to go downhill. Suddenly everything was crashing down on me. I was mad because I only got the stupid phone, which two people have used before me while my brother got a ticket for a soccer game and a concert. I was mad because I am the one who calms down my dad when he is feeling bad because I am the one who listens to my mom when she needs to get something off her chest because I am the one who tries to do everything right, who does the chores. I was mad at my parents for fighting earlier and for every other fight they had recently.
Because I didn’t want anyone to notice I went upstair to cry but of course my parents noticed. I just wanted to be alone but first, my mom came up and then my dad. They knew it was about them and they asked me what was wrong but I couldn’t tell them. I screamed and yelled at them to leave me alone, I cried. I threw a fit like a little kid and I felt stupid for doing it but I couldn’t control myself. When my aunt came upstairs a few minutes after my parents gave up I pretended to be asleep because I couldn’t deal with her. She left and my parents came up again. They wanted to talk to me but I started freaking out again. I was shaking, yelling and crying. I felt bad because I didn’t want to ruin everybody’s Christmas.
I don’t know what happened with me yesterday but I guess it had something to do with the pressure I have been putting on myself lately.
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas though.
Lots of Love
Just A Blank Space