Every night before I fall asleep I make up stories in my mind. It helps me to calm down and stop thinking about the things that keep me awake. Usually, the stories consist of things that could have happened to me in the past or that could happen in the future but since August I have been thinking about a story that has nothing to do with me and I fell in love with it. This is why I decided to write it down. I really believed I could turn it into a book and I really wanted to but since I started to write it down it doesn’t seem good enough anymore.
I have been struggling with the feeling of not being good enough for a while now. Most of my friends are graduating this year and they all know what they will do next while I have no Idea what I want to do after school. I am now at a point where I have to start thinking about that and I would love to turn any of my hobbies into my job. For years I have been thinking about becoming a journalist and I have always been dreaming of becoming an author but I figured I am not good enough at writing to do so. I thought about doing something creative but I feel like my lettering and my doodles are not good enough to do that either.
This school year I have been working my butt off to get good grades and my grades are better than ever. I am doing really good but I still feel like it is not good enough. Nothing I do seems good enough. Not even blogging. The only thing I can really picture myself doing after school is blogging but I don’t think I am actually good enough to ever turn my passion into my job.
My parents and a lot of my friends always tell me how good I am at what I do but I just can’t believe them. Whenever anyone comments on a post telling me that what I do is really good I can’t believe it because for me it feels like nothing I do is good enough.
I tried to open up about this to my parents and they always tell me how proud they are but that still doesn’t change how I feel. Will I ever feel good enough?
Lots of Love
Just A Blank Space