Before I Fall Asleep

Every night before I fall asleep I make up storiesEvery night before I fall asleep I make up stories in my head. Sometimes I think about them for a couple of weeks and sometimes just for ones. I started doing that when I was a little girl because one of my favourite book characters did it. Most of the stories are literally crap and I don’t write them down because of how awful they are but this time it is different. I actually wrote the story I was thinking of down and since I share everything with you I decided to share this horrible story with you guys too.

Taylor was leaning on a street light pole observing the door of his old best friend’s house. He could hear the music and laughter from the inside. It seemed like everyone was having a good time in there but he couldn’t get himself to go in. He wasn’t here for his best friend but the girl who lived with him for the last ten months and was going to leave tomorrow. He had always wondered how it must feel to be in love but since he got to know her he knew. She was the smartest and most hard working girl he ever met. She didn’t care about all his followers or the impact he had on social media. She didn’t care about the numbers, she cared about him and she was the only one who seemed to understand how he felt. He couldn’t bare the pain of her leaving. Although she seemed to be the complete opposite of him he never felt as close to someone as he felt to her. He didn’t realise his eyes were sliding off the door down to his own feet while he was thinking about her. When he heard the door opening he looked up. There she was. His heart started pounding as she was walking up to him.

Hi.”, he straightened up. “Why are you outside? Shouldn’t you be inside enjoying your party?”, he asked her hoping she didn’t notice his shaking voice.

You know I don’t like parties.”, she answered. “I came out to talk to you.”

You mean to say goodbye don’t you?”, he almost couldn’t say it out loud.

Not yet.”, she smiled. “Come on. Let’s go on a walk.”

Don’t you think they will miss you? You are the star of the night.”, he really didn’t want her to miss her own party. As much as he wanted to spend as much time as possible with her.

No. They will survive without my presence for a while.”

Taylor looked at her and couldn’t resist. “Then let’s go.”, he said and grabbed her hand.

They started walking across the dark street in silence. Taylor wanted to say something but for some reason, he couldn’t. He knew he was going to cry. How much he wished he could hold on to her a little longer.

Can you promise me something?”, she looked at him with her wonderful blue eyes and he could see that she was about to cry too.

I will try.”, he answered struggling to hold back the tears.

Please don’t keep on going like that Tay. You are destroying yourself don’t you see that? I can imagine how it must feel for you to finally have money after all you have been through but buying all that stuff, the house, the car, just pressures you to keep up the work. You work so hard but life is about way more than money. Don’t you miss your friends? Do you really want all this money to destroy your friendship?”

He didn’t know what to answer and he knew she didn’t expect him to. They kept on walking in silence for a while and he couldn’t resist pulling her closer to him.

You know what I would spend all that money on?”, she asked after a while. “I would spend it on memories.”

How do you spend money on memories?”, he asked laughing.

I would buy plane tickets to explore the world or concert tickets I don’t need a big house or expensive cars” Taylor didn’t answer.

After a while, they reached the house again. Before she could say anything Taylor pulled her into his arms.

I’ll miss you.”, he said fighting back his tears and she pulled herself even closer to him. She was crying. They stood there for a while. The party was still going on behind them but they didn’t care. Both of them didn’t want to let go. Someone yelled her name and Taylor let her go. He knew it was the right thing to do although it felt so wrong. Holding her shoulders he kissed her forehead.

You’ll be fine”, he said. “Now go back in”, he almost choked on his own words. As he watched her walk away tears started running down his face.

Taylor went home. He didn’t know what to do with himself but couldn’t sleep either. The house was quiet and the silence was driving him insane. He knew she was right. He didn’t need this big house. All it did was make him feel lonely. He took out his laptop and tried to distract himself by reading comments and tweets his fans wrote but it didn’t work and after a lot of time he finally fell asleep.

The noise of his phone woke him up. It was a text message from her telling him she was boarding now and suddenly he knew what to do. Taylor got up, grabbed a suitcase, threw some clothes in, drove to the airport and bought himself the next plane ticket to Germany. Fourteen hours later he was standing in front of her school. He knew she wouldn’t miss a day of it. Not even after a ten hours long plane ride and he was right. When he saw her leaving the building he knew he did the right thing. He took out his phone and texted her.

Look up

He saw her taking out her phone and when she stopped walking he knew she was reading his message. She looked up and the surprise on her face was priceless. Taylor couldn’t stop himself from running up to her.

What are you doing here?”, she asked completely flashed.

I am doing the only right thing to do.”, he said. “I bought myself a memory.”, then he leaned down to do what he had been wanting to do for way too long and kissed her.

Here it is. Another piece of my dignity. Writing this tory down just reminded me why I usually don’t write those thoughts down.

Lots of Love

Just A Blank Space

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